Pop up weddings are on a mission to become totally waste free weddings. We are super passionate about this and have great plans to start and enable new businesses that use the wedding industry waste, facilitating workshops, gifting our post wedding flowers, using locally grown blooms and and and…
A few years into marriage and a couple of months into running ‘waste free’ Pop Up ceremonies and I can’t help but notice all the similarities being married and being on this road to reducing, reusing and recycling have.
1- Vowing to do amazing things is way easier than actually doing those amazing things.
Writing your vows can be tricky, sure, but generally putting together a bunch of promise that are romantic, meaningful and true to you is wayyyyyyy easier than fulfilling those promises.
Having great plans on how you are going to recycle, reduce waste, up cycle and maybe even start some ingenious crafting project to repurpose your plastic shopping bags, is way easier to say than do.
Cue our waste free wedding post/vows!
It’s not to say that you didn’t mean all the things you were saying or promising or even that you regret promising them, I just know as a wife and as a ‘working to be a waste free’ business owner I have definitely looked back and had some, “who’s great idea was it to promise that?!” moments!
2- When life is good it’s really easy to be married/recycle.
When marriage is good, man it is good. As in birds singing, happy playlist in the background Hollywood movie type of shit.
You want to organize a date night, you want to pick up their dirty washing, you love those little cute quirks. Conversation comes easily and you can share your opinions and ideas calmly and logically.
Similarly when business is calm, you have time to think and stuff is just good you want to organize your paper from tins and finding your nearest garden waste depot is like an exciting mini adventure. Gifting your post wedding blooms becomes the highlight of your day.
3- When things get tough marriage/recycling is really hard to do.
You know what I’m talking about here. Think about your daily interactions and general relationship health in around November / December of each year VS. relationship post-Christmas holidays.
It’s basically the difference between ‘I want to kill you’ and ‘I’m so lucky to have you in my life.’
In the midst of wedding day prep or even worse wedding day break down, it’s hard to take that extra time to sort plastic from composting waste. All you want to do is throw it all into one big (plastic) bin bag and be done with it.
Driving to your nearest garden waste depot is not an adventure, it’s a hack that’s going to add at least an hour onto your already full and tiring day.
The real test of your relationship or waste free wedding resolve is not measured in the good times. It is measured when you are tired, resentful and in need of a bloody good holiday.
4- It’s generally accepted that we should do it but many of us don’t actually know WHY we are doing it.
I can remember the catch phrase ‘carbon footprint’ came out a few years ago and everyone was reducing their carbon footprint.
Great. Amazing. But WTF is a carbon footprint actually?
You may have heard about the floral and wedding industry being ‘foam free’. Honest to goodness I only learnt WHY foam free is good two weeks ago. (Spoiler alert foam or florist oasis is micro plastic)
It’s easy to hear these catch phrases and know they are generally good, but do you actually know what it means and how that will realistically change your day to day business/life?
Similarly, getting married and having a traditional wedding is just a generally accepted thing to do. Although the way we live, love and ‘grow old together’ is changing we are largely still stuck in a very traditional way of loving and getting married. (Don’t even get me started on the traditional pressures of wedding days – that’s a whole other blog post)
I’m not saying don’t do good, or don’t get married, I’m just saying know why you want to do something and really believe in it before you go committing to it.
5- When you do get married/recycle it’s very easy to judge people who don’t do it or do it differently.
As you have probably gathered by now, I think being married and recycling can sometimes be a hack. So, when you do get over all your own issues around doing this thing and doing it well or semi consistently it is super easy to judge people about the way they are doing it.
When we ask our Pop Up Wedding couples what their biggest fear or resistance was before they booked their micro wedding with us, it comes out again and again that it is Friends and family telling them that they will regret not having a big wedding, pressuring them into doing it the way they did it, and generally just not being supportive of their choices.
On a very simple level I think brides and couples who have been through stressful wedding day planning want to justify their experience and find validation in the fact that that is how ‘everyone else does it’.
This waste free wedding journey has made me very aware that the way you do things is not the right, the only or the best way. And we may all do well to keep that in mind next time we judge or comment on the way someone is getting married or attempting to make the world a better greener place.
6 – We are all just doing our best and learning as we go.
Show me someone who has love and marriage figured out and ill show you someone who is 1- full of shit, 2- in denial or 3- both.
Ditto on the green warrior, carbon footprint reducing, perfect recycler type.
None of us get everything right, despite our best intentions. Sometimes the greatest, kindest most sincere acts can fall flat on their face.
Life, marriage, friendship, self-love AND recycling are all tricky at times, better at others. All you can do, all any of us can do is our best, learn as we go and have a little grace for those around us.
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So much love